MIAMI - Florida State school has released a study today that reveals there is a 62% chance previous Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin has raped you. The Hall of Famer had an illustrious football career and notorious off the field nonsense, ranging from substance abuse to cheating and multiple accounts of claimed rape. 'If you are alive in Northern America today, there's a 62% chance Michael Irvin has raped you,' said Dr. Anders Maner. 'If you are female your odds of Irvin rape increase to 87.6%, and if you're a female who lived in the states of Texas or Florida from 1988 to today and have ever been drunk, even just once within that time period, there is a 99.9% possibility you have been raped by Irvin.' If you have been drunk in either Texas or Florida in the last 22 years, whether or not you suspect you have been raped, call the Miami Police office to press charges against Irvin. TAUNTR.com
Posted by kenneth5moon
at 5:34 PM EST
