MELBOURNE - A sobbing Andy Murray congratulated Roger Federer after losing to the Swiss tennis star in the Australian Open sunday. Murray then proceeded to unhinge his jaw and slowly swallow Federer whole in front of the surprised crowd. Having lost the match, a unhappy Murray came to the net and screamed in outrage. His scream became an inhuman jaw stretch, his mouth opening to well over a foot wide. He then jumped onto Federer and swallowed his head, then started to choke down a few inches of the squirming victor every couple of seconds. 'We were in shock,' said Kami Williams, a fan attending. 'It was so surreal, no one knew what to do.' Having totally injested Federer, Murray slithered off court. Officers are looking for the tennis pro. Their enquiry will begin with the producers of the new horror film Legion. TAUNTR.com
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at 2:09 PM EST